To be conscious; to be fully engaged in the moment, this moment. This is the cry from my heart. To live from the heart, not refusing to acknowledge the head, acknowledging its help and necessity yet not allowing the head to rule.
The lure of passivity, of numbness, of allowing the necessities of living to smother the longings of the heart, are steady. Surrounded by things, by stuff, by the call to “be all that you can be” to plan, to strive and smother the heart so that security of place can be attained.
The heart says; “dance naked under the moonlight” while the head scoffs at such foolishness and daring. “What will that accomplish?” says the mind, while the heart cries “it’s not about accomplishing, it’s about being.”
Centuries of patriarchy run through my blood: of fighting for what is wanted, of securing a future for self and others, of being a good citizen, a good consumer, a good worker. Also, through my veins, runs the mystery of The Divine: of knowing I am part of all that is, of kindness being the rule, of knowing that this moment, ah this moment, is all that truly exists.
The mind scolds me with:
- if only you had planned better
- if only you were more organized
- if only you were prepared
And then dares to add: no one will take care of you in your old age; you must put structures in place today to make sure you have a roof tomorrow. Fear rules the mind and in return tries to overtake, to subdue the heart.
The heart knows that singing to a child, rescuing a bird, adoring the colours of the rainbow and feeling the rain on my face are the things that truly matter, that truly honour the Divine that lives within me.
The mind does its best to complicate life, to confuse me with attaining, to choke me with expectations. The heart whispers “listen to the voice within – it is filled with the wisdom of your guides, with the love of all the women who came before you.”
The mind says it’s about being safe, being protected: about knowing that all is secure and well-formed. The heart knows that it’s about being, about breathing, about drinking from the cup of stillness.
I choose the path of the heart. I choose to walk in beauty.