About fifteen years ago, I was at a place in my journey where I realized “I don’t want to live this life anymore” and that thought eventually became a decision and a choice. I left behind the life I had been living and moved into the unknown. It’s one thing to become aware that the life you are living is not the one you want to live; it’s a whole other thing to begin to examine what it is you do want. Here are some thoughts and questions culled from my journals that helped me discover the life I wanted and gave me the strength and courage to reach out for that life.
- It’s not always easy or “pain free” to make choices and decisions that lead to the life you want.
• The life you want becomes clearer as you move towards that part of it that is already clear to you.
• It matters to ask yourself “why”. For example, say I want to move out of the city and into the country. “why?” What is moving to the country going to give me or provide me with? What do I see such a move accomplishing in my life? If I stay in the city what will I lose or be giving up on?
• If you don’t move forward towards what you want, are you then moving towards what you don’t want? How much does your spirit cooperate in either giving you what you want, or, conversely, what you don’t want?
• How does the universe whether on the outside of our physical being, or the universe within us know what we want other than by observing what we do? Is this a version of “where your heart is, there will your treasure be also”?
• If I say I want to go East and yet I continue to travel westward, what happens? Obviously I don’t arrive in the East. Do I, at some point, forget that I even wanted to go East? Do I look for a spot to turn around and miss it because I am moving too fast, or am distracted and eventually decide since I’ve come this far, I might as well continue on in a westward direction? Do I learn to be content in the West rather than expend the energy to go back in an eastward direction?
• How do you fulfill your dreams if you don’t begin to do what you dream of? It’s like saying “I’ve always wanted a brick home” and, in the meantime, the last four houses you’ve bought have had siding or cedar shingles on them. Not that this makes a home of less value or less beauty than one made of brick. It is simply that what you want or long for is one made of brick. And what happens when you do buy that house of brick? Does it feel more like home? Is it warmer, better? Or does it just give you that feeling, each time you pull into the driveway of, “this is something I’ve always wanted”. And with that sense of warmth, of value about yourself, what else comes along, what else enters your life when you are living it in a way that says “I matter – my dreams, my wishes are important”.
I can tell you, looking back, that there is no greater adventure than deciding that you’re going to live the life you want! It won’t always be easy, there will be people who are disappointed in you for not maintaining the status quo, there will be times when you feel discouraged, and a time of grief for what you left behind even though there wasn’t much there for you and grief, as well, that you didn’t step out sooner and reach for your dreams. But don’t let any of that stop you. Life is not a dress rehearsal; this is your life, right here, right now, this moment – if it doesn’t resemble the life you want – choose to change it!