Igniting the Womb Fire

I was born eighteen days past my due date which makes me wonder if I knew what awaited me when I left the womb so stayed in there as long as I could!

When you grow up in an abusive home, you quickly learn you can’t trust your own senses. What you see and hear and what you are told is happening do not match up, so you are in a constant state of confusion; unsure what reality  is.  Years ago, a psychiatrist commented to me that children who grown up in abusive homes have no sense of their own body and where they fit in time and space.

Wow.  There’s a burden to carry through life – a lack of awareness of your own body and therefore, really, a lack of awareness of your own self.  And yet, you don’t need an abusive life to lack awareness.  The recent history of our world has sadly ignored the healing virtues, things like the three graces of ancient times which were in Greek Mythology: Beauty, Delight and Blossom or another translation of their names, Glory, Joy and Flourishing. What a beautiful awareness to bring into being. What if we spent time looking inside our own self, and then out into the world, for beauty, glory, delight, joy, flourishing and blossoming.  Would that invite us to be creative, to feel creative?

If God was a Woman
SHE would ask me
to wake up.
SHE would walk me
through my day
showing me all those times
I stifle my own energy
by trying to be nice to everyone.
Others need to learn to
please themselves SHE would whisper
and not rely on you to do the work for them.

If God was a Woman
SHE would ask me
to look and truly see
all the times I stifle my own knowing
or calm my urges to do what I know works for others
SHE would hold me in her arms
and tell me it’s okay, it doesn’t make me weak
or stupid or small
that it speaks of my wise heart
and of years of being patterned
after an image of woman that kept herself safe
and alive and that was necessary for a time.
Now is the time to wake up from this dream
SHE would say.

If God was a Woman
SHE would remind me
of the women within my lifetime
who have stood up
risen up
marched up
and changed the world with
the power of their voice
and their actions

If God was a Woman
SHE would ask me
to stop looking back
at all that has been accomplished
to stop feeling “less than” because
my way is not the way of the warrior.
SHE would bring to my remembrance
the way of Mother Teresa
SHE would inspire me with the
words and ecstasy of St Teresa of Avila
and again SHE would whisper to me
to stop looking back
because the world today is not in need
of those women who came before us
the universe is waiting to hear the call,
not of St Teresa but of your heart
Yes, SHE would whisper, YOUR heart
you see, the world will not be changed
by the next great warrior
hearts will not be healed by taking the battle
into them

If God was a Woman
SHE would ask me to open my eyes
to the wonder that I am
SHE would ask that I sink deep into HER
love for me and appreciate, oh yes appreciate
the woman I am today, this very today

If God was a Woman
SHE would ask me
to wake up
To go deep within my own self
to find there the wisdom that
lies waiting for me to reap HER harvest
SHE would speak to me the truth,
the truth that when my own heart
is healed, the world is healed
SHE would show me how to love
my own self with HER unconditional love
how to bind my wounds with compassion
and grace
SHE would speak to me of that voice within
that has all the truth and strength I need
to do the work of being ME
SHE would tell me that SHE has made
me powerful and that the power within me
can move mountains and cause rivers
to overspill their banks

If God was a Woman
SHE would ask me
To wake up and know that I—a woman—
hold within me the power to create
a new world
and that it is by creating the world I live in
within my own circle to be a world of love
of compassion, of kindness and gentleness
that I, this woman, will create a world
filled with those same graces
SHE would chide me with HER gentle eyes
and tell me the time for being quiet
for staying in my own corner
and holding these truths to my own heart
is past.
You know, SHE would whisper
you know what changes the world
what heals the world and it is
time to wake up.
The song you have within you
is the song the world is dying
for – it is the song of love
the song of MY love and you
have the words, the sacred words
within your heart
now is the time
time for the awakened woman
to make herself known
to spread the love and joy
she has found by allowing
ME within, by bathing herself
in my boundless love for her.

If God was a Woman
SHE would ask me
to wake up.*

So how do the words of this poem tie in with Igniting the Womb Fire?  Let’s just think, for a moment, of the magical place that the womb truly is.

We each began our existence  there. It is a place of warmth, of nourishment, of power and magic. Light gets through, sound gets through and we begin life, not in the dark and silence, but protected while we grow!  So much symbolism in all of this.

In the womb is the power to create; out of tiny little cells, a complex, thinking, feeling, acting person. I remember when I was pregnant with my first child, and the day I was walking across a bridge in the city, I stopped because my breath had just been taken away with the awareness that this was not “just” a baby growing inside me, this was a person!  And if that isn’t magical, I don’t know what is!

Here’s the silly thing, after having this poem wash through me, after really listening to the words as I spoke them aloud, I then sat down to research the womb!  So, here we go, a great example of moving out of that sacred space and into the world of science, of logic, of facts and figures.

We’ve been taught that is where truth lies. Out there in books, in papers, in our head.  We’ve been told that we have to think things through, to sort out fact from fiction and be logical.  I’m not saying these things are wrong or bad. I am saying there is another way – an ancient way – of knowing what is true, of discovering what is right for me, and dare I say, for our world.

And that way is to get out of our heads and to access the creative force – the power to create – that lies within our womb space.  This is why we admire artists so much, we are in awe of what they create. And they don’t paint or write poetry or build architectural wonders by figuring every single step out in their heads.  They see it, they feel it, they imagine it AND they create it.  Are these people special, do they have gifts that you and I don’t have?  It feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it?  How often have you said, or thought “I wish I could draw” or “I could never weave the way she does”.  And that may be true. You can’t do something the way someone else does. You are not someone else.

And yet, you too have creative powers.  You may never have had a child, never wanted a child and that’s okay. It’s not about being a biological mother, this going into our womb space, this drawing wisdom from in there. It’s about acknowledging, yes acknowledging, because we women have been taught well how to be small and insignificant – but, think about it, women are creators.  Really think about that, feel that. Within our very body lies the tools, the building blocks of creation!

So how do we access this in a more conscious manner?  Because we do access this creative power.  Think of times you’ve been drifting off to sleep and you’ve had a “hah hah” moment about a problem you’ve been struggling with. Or those times when you’ve listened to your body and realized that every time you are around a particular person, you end up with a headache!  This is accessing that creative force, that force that tells you there is a different way, a better way.  And it looks different for each of us. If you’ve ever taught, a classroom of kids, a Sunday school class or even led a Book Study Group, you know how differently we each access information.  The wisdom within is the same, it can be accessed in different ways by each of us. At its core, though, is learning to listen to our own self.  When we come into this world, our DNA not only holds the coding for whether we have blue eyes or brown, but it also holds memories; memories of those who came before and those memories have with them, wisdom and ways of being that are a part of who we are.

We access the creative force of our womb space by being quiet, by paying attention when that little voice says “yes” or “no”.  We access it when we work on a vision board and “randomly’ select images or words to put together in a collage. And then when the collage is done, we sit back and are amazed at what came through.  We access that creative force when we go for a walk and spend time in nature, smelling the scent of pine in the woods, listening to the chickadees in the trees, stopping to check out fungus growing in the shade.  When we take time, even if it is just a few minutes as we are dropping off to sleep, to ask “who am I?” “what matters to me?” or “what’s next for me?”

Often, as women, we will sit down together to discuss a problem and we realize as we listen to the other speak that she already knows what to do. The answer is often right there in her question or sometimes in a casual comment.  We are accessing the creative force within us all the time. We just need to acknowledge it more, to say “yes” and “thank you” for the answers that come to us or for that feeling when we know something is right.  My daughter tells me the best advice I ever gave her is “always do what makes sense to you”. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense to anyone else. If you follow your inner urging, that whisper that tells you what your next step is, or what your solution is, it won’t steer you wrong.

But you ask, what if it is wrong?  What if I listen and follow and it doesn’t turn out right or good?  And I say back to you, ”have you ever been wrong? Did you ever feel like you had really screwed up?  And did you survive?”  Of course you did or you wouldn’t be here today!  So, if your biggest fear about tapping into the wisdom, the creative solution or approach within you, is that you could be hearing wrong, following wrong, doing it wrong, I say GO AHEAD. You’ve been wrong before and made it through anyways.

Over the years, I have come to realize, to believe, more and more that we access the creative force within us by being aware of God within us.  And seriously, if women are the creators of life here in this dimension, then I can only believe that a female aspect of God is the creator of all there is.  And if that is the case, there is nothing SHE doesn’t know about creation, about creativity, about creating a new life, a new world!

As I worked on my If God was a Woman book, I realized how much I love this aspect of God.  The whole image of God as father / male / man has never resonated with me.  The sensing, the becoming aware of the female, the feminine, the sensual side of the Divine feels awesome.  And that has recharged my creative fires in amazing ways.

Do what works for you. Listen to your own self. Take time to be with yourself and allow yourself to sink into that place within, where all is quiet and where you will hear and know how living creatively looks for you.  I’m not talking about whether you’ll find a latent artist inside. Living creatively is so totally individual and unique.  Your living creatively may be volunteering at a homeless shelter and mine may be living alone and writing.  Yours might be traveling the world to find ways of blossoming and mine might be spending time in the woods by my house each day.

If you ask yourself “how do I tap into the creator aspect of myself?  How do I enter the womb space of creativity?” the answers will present themselves and you will know.

 

*poem excerpt from If God Was A Woman / published 2015

 

7 thoughts on “Igniting the Womb Fire

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  1. I dove deep into this beautiful post. I’ve always been connected to that inner space within us, womb-like, since I was quite young. I gave up the ‘male’ idea of God a long time ago. The feminine in the Spirit makes so much more sense.

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